Great News! (Clever word joke of mine)
Guess what! My stories have been published in the Bridport Newspaper
So buy the news this week and you can read about my cat Timothy and his trip out!
I have been thinking about starting to illustrate my stories what do you think? Now back to Jennifer!
Jennifer had been walking for a while now and was starting to get desperate when she heard a low cry.
"помощ" It was cries of help from an Albanian, Jennifer knew alabanian as she learnt it at school because the town was full of Albanians. She could see blood coming out his mouth, he had a fish hook caught in his tongue. The man explained to Jennifer
"Я плавал в море с моим ртом открытым и я получил уловленным
" Oh dear thought Jennifer she started to feel sad for this man then remembered her catapult-could it come in useful today? She took it out her pinafore and tapped the side of the man's mouth within seconds it was like new! Wow this catapult really was magical. The man was very pleased he thanked her very excitedly
"Thankyou маленькая девушка с красным цветом закупоривает СЫР ВЛЮБЛЕННОСТИ I И я не АЛБАНСК я буду русским тупоумным дурачком.
" Jennifer grinned he said that because she helped him he would help her home. This proved Jennifer's point that if you help others then good things will happen to you. So Jennifer was feeling much better this man would help her home and she'd be back in time to see if Sean and Ruby's relationship lasts in Eastenders!
PS. The language above is Russian by the way!! I couldn't find Albanian but I figured they are pretty much the same language anyway!
This is a catapult for anyone who didn't know, I thought I should make it clear as it is the main item in the blog!
Patrick and Yolande!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jennifer Discovers The Magical Catapult.
The air was black and pollution filled Jennifer's lungs, distant crying from the kangaroos at Euro-Abattoir saddened her. This was her town, Bridport, the horrors within her home were impossible to explain. If only she could do something about it. But she quickly cheered up -because by nature she was a very cheerful child, with a ready smile and a happy heart!!
Jennifer skipped down the hill, humming merrily to herself stepping over homeless beggers as she went and tossing silver coins in their direction, "Tonight you will eat!" she cried prettily ignoring their drunken answers.
She bent down to pick up a wilted flower from the long dead grass and spotted something sparkly out of the corner of her eye.
"Oh! What could that be?" she exclaimed excitement in her voice "A silver coin? Goody!"
But leaning closer and round the edge of the cucumber frame what should see but a brand new catapult! It was a very pretty catapult indeed! And in the grey, polluted light of Bridport it looked almost magical!! Jennifer was so pleased! But the catapult would have to be a best kept secret, so she tucked it in her pinafore and started her long walk home.
Her shiny red clogs clacked along the pot-holed street neatly avoiding the nice environment of dog poos and used needles. Round the corner she saw the familiar figure of Tina the Teen pregnancy counsellor waddling towards her. "Whats that you have their Jenny?" Her voice was coarse from heavy smoking - "Is it a new kind of contraceptive?" "No" said Jenny brightly "It is my catapult!"
The next person she encountered Andy the Go head gay Vicar at St Lesbos Church "Hi Jenny - still denying your inner lesbian?" he shouted cheerily. Jenny hurried by her eyes downcast. She at least still believed in the sin of sodom.
Finally she reached the lovely row of houses where her home was located - noting the Green 2CV of Sarah the Social Worker parked outside. Jenny hurried the last few steps - she was not going into care with most of Bridports children if she could help it! It was almosdt too late!! Her mother was about to sign the form. "Stop it mummy!" shouted Jennifer "We have to bake cakes for the farmers market on the second saturday of the month!" "Oh yes - I had forgotten" said her mother, "We'll have to wait till next month Sarah!" Sarah left muttering in defeat.
