The Adventures Of Jennifer And Her Magical Catapult!

The Catapult

Jennifer won 1st prize at the farmers market for her fantastic cake! But all the cake making had distracted Jennifer from something much more important her MAGICAL CATAPULT well it wasn't yet proved if the catapult was magical but due to her happy, cheerful nature she was positive that it was. Jennifer was not yet sure where to look at her catapult as it had to be somewhere that was private so noone would steal it from her. She thought about her room but that was useless as her 12 brothers + sisters and mother shared it with her. The bus shelter was another but Jennifer was scared of the youths that hung around there, with their smoking and swearing so the bathroom was her only choice. The bathroom was shared with the slummers next-door on the right and the very scary man from the left. The rumour was he had murdered 13 people! "Boy what a lot of people to kill!" Jennifer said to herself she almost felt sad for a moment but she had a happy and cheerful nature so she soon perked up. Sitting in the bathroom looking at the peeled wall-paper, curiously stained towels and broken mirror Jennifer felt a little put off but remembered that all people have their own tastes.
Reaching into her pinafore she felt the catapult and pulled it out. She felt it truly was marvelous and thing of such beauty impossible to describe. But what did it do? It couldn't POSSIBLY just catapult things it had to do more. So she shook it a little and something amazing happened, bright colours eurupted from the catapult! Sparkles and fizzes and spits of flame!
Now what could this be? Jennifer wondered what would it do? Then she looked around the bathroom but the bathroom was no more, she was at Bridport Hill, looking over the smoking Euro Abattoir. This was strange, why was she here? She had so many questions but not enough time when suddenly she felt a sharp bite in her leg. Turning and looking down she realised it was a rapid dog! Which had become a popular sight in Bridport recently. Jennifer did not panic as she had a cheerful nature, but knew she must do something so she shook her catapult. Where was she now..............................?

posted by SpitSpot @ 4:51 PM 0 comments

Cake

Jennifer's Cake for the farmer's market!

posted by SpitSpot @ 11:23 PM 0 comments

Jennifer's feelings

Jennifer is feeling happy so far, she's sad that her Mother keeps trying to put her up for adoption but because of her happy nature and cheerfulness she was reminded of the farmer's market on the second Saturday. Today was Friday and she would have to start baking soon, but she needed some supplies from the shop. Jennifer left the house but remembered to lock her door as Ben the Burglar was prowling about near by and she valued her things.
On the way to the shop she met some friends of hers "Hello companions!" she cried nicely. She was quite confused by their replies of swearing and abuse but due to her happy nature she brightened up and went to the shop.......................

posted by SpitSpot @ 11:05 PM 0 comments

Jennifer Discovers The Magical Catapult.

The air was black and pollution filled Jennifer's lungs, distant crying from the kangaroos at Euro-Abattoir saddened her. This was her town, Bridport, the horrors within her home were impossible to explain. If only she could do something about it. But she quickly cheered up -because by nature she was a very cheerful child, with a ready smile and a happy heart!!
Jennifer skipped down the hill, humming merrily to herself stepping over homeless beggers as she went and tossing silver coins in their direction, "Tonight you will eat!" she cried prettily ignoring their drunken answers.
She bent down to pick up a wilted flower from the long dead grass and spotted something sparkly out of the corner of her eye.
"Oh! What could that be?" she exclaimed excitement in her voice "A silver coin? Goody!"
But leaning closer and round the edge of the cucumber frame what should see but a brand new catapult! It was a very pretty catapult indeed! And in the grey, polluted light of Bridport it looked almost magical!! Jennifer was so pleased! But the catapult would have to be a best kept secret, so she tucked it in her pinafore and started her long walk home.
Her shiny red clogs clacked along the pot-holed street neatly avoiding the nice environment of dog poos and used needles. Round the corner she saw the familiar figure of Tina the Teen pregnancy counsellor waddling towards her. "Whats that you have their Jenny?" Her voice was coarse from heavy smoking - "Is it a new kind of contraceptive?" "No" said Jenny brightly "It is my catapult!"

The next person she encountered Andy the Go head gay Vicar at St Lesbos Church "Hi Jenny - still denying your inner lesbian?" he shouted cheerily. Jenny hurried by her eyes downcast. She at least still believed in the sin of sodom.

Finally she reached the lovely row of houses where her home was located - noting the Green 2CV of Sarah the Social Worker parked outside. Jenny hurried the last few steps - she was not going into care with most of Bridports children if she could help it! It was almosdt too late!! Her mother was about to sign the form. "Stop it mummy!" shouted Jennifer "We have to bake cakes for the farmers market on the second saturday of the month!" "Oh yes - I had forgotten" said her mother, "We'll have to wait till next month Sarah!" Sarah left muttering in defeat.

posted by SpitSpot @ 10:51 PM 0 comments

Gnarls Barkley

I dislike Gnarls Barkley.

Jennifer was a happy child with no brothers or sisters she had to keep herself company and soon developed a hobby of firing catapults. A day could be filled with joyful hours of catapulting small pebbles found in the garden.
When Jennifer started school the other children liked her, but they thought of her hobby as weird and strange. Soon she began to feel excluded from her class and decided one day to quit her favourite pastime and be more normal and she made lots of friends but she always remembered her best catapult, it was made of a smooth, light coloured wood and fired at least 5 metres!!!
The End - for now! Above:Jennifer using her catapult


See you soon fans I know you can barely contain your excitement for the next episode of the "ADVENTURES OF JENNIFER AND HER MAGICAL CATAPULT!!"

posted by SpitSpot @ 11:31 PM 0 comments